We Started A War On Skids
Skid Slayer exists because toilet paper got it backwards: bleached bright to look "clean", wrapped in plastic to look "fresh", and made from trees that took thirty years to grow. We make the opposite, unbleached 3-ply bamboo that's soft on cheeks, brutal on skids, and honest about what it is.
The Problem We Refuse To Accept
Toilet paper touches the most sensitive skin on your body, multiple times a day, for your entire life. And the industry's answer was to bleach it with chlorine so it photographs white, wrap it in shrink film so it stacks nicely, and clear-cut forests to make something you flush within a week.
Nobody asked for any of that. So we made the opposite: unbleached bamboo that keeps its natural tan, paper-wrapped rolls with zero plastic in the box, and fibre that regrows in about three years instead of thirty. Same job. None of the nonsense.
What We Stand For
Unbleached honesty
Our paper is tan because that's bamboo's real colour. Whitening is cosmetics, not cleanliness, so we skip the chlorine entirely.
Zero plastic, zero excuses
Paper wrappers, recycled carton, recycled core. If it can't go in kerbside recycling, it doesn't go in our box.
Engineered for the flush
Strong in hand, gone in the tank. Septic, RV and composting-toilet safe isn't a claim, it's the design brief.
Humor is mandatory
It's toilet paper. If we can't laugh about it, who can? Serious about quality, never about ourselves.
How It's Made
Four steps, one ingredient, no shortcuts. FSC chain-of-custody certified from stand to sheet.
Grown, not logged
FSC-certified bamboo groves, harvest-ready in ~3 years, regrowing without replanting.
Pulped clean
Fibre is pulped without chlorine bleaching, no whitening, no dyes, no fragrance, no PFAS.
Pressed into 3-ply
Three plies, 300 extra-wide sheets per roll, strength from structure, not chemical wet-strength.
Wrapped in paper
Paper wrap, recycled carton, straight to your door, zero plastic touches the product, ever.
"Butts Deserved Better. So We Built Better."
I didn't set out to start a toilet paper company. I set out to stop buying paper that was bleached for looks, wrapped in plastic for shelf appeal, and made from forests for no good reason. When I couldn't find it, we made it, and the Kickstarter backers who funded the first run proved I wasn't the only one fed up.
Every roll still follows the same brief we promised them: unbleached, 3-ply, septic safe, zero plastic. And if it's ever not the best roll in your bathroom, we'll refund you and you keep the paper. That's the deal.
Marc Shuster, Founder
Real Talk From Real Wipers
"Great toilet paper. Amazing quality. Probably the best value on the market right now for treeless TP."
Harry G. Verified buyer"Quality looks good and they ship quick. Switched the whole house over and nobody has complained once."
Andrew D. Verified buyer"Tried bamboo from another company and the smell was off. This one is far superior to my liking."
Jennifer K. Verified buyerThree Things People Ask Us
Why the name "Skid Slayer"?
Because that's the job. Toilet paper brands love talking about clouds, cushions and puppies, nobody says what the product is actually for. We do. Skid Slayer is 3-ply bamboo built to clean up properly in fewer passes, and the name is a promise: strong enough to slay the skid, soft enough that your skin never notices the battle. If the honesty makes you laugh, that's the brand working as intended.
Where is Skid Slayer made?
Our paper is made from FSC chain-of-custody certified bamboo, pulped and pressed without chlorine bleaching, dyes, fragrance, BPA or PFAS, then wrapped in paper and shipped from our US fulfilment to your door. FSC certification means the fibre is tracked from the harvested grove to the finished roll, so nothing uncertified gets blended in along the way.
What's the guarantee?
A 30-day money-back guarantee on every order. If Skid Slayer is not the best roll in your bathroom, email us within 30 days of delivery for a full refund, and keep the paper, because we are not asking for used toilet roll back. Subscriptions carry zero commitment too: skip, pause, reschedule or cancel from your account any time, with a reminder email before every shipment.
Join The Clean Wipe Movement
Unbleached 3-ply bamboo, 300 sheets a roll, septic safe, zero plastic, backed by the 30-day money-back guarantee. Your butt's about to get promoted.
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